Tom Arnold Guarantees Fourth Marriage Will Last

When you got on the phone with Tom Arnold, you know what's coming. A hyper, free-wheeling discussion about anything and everything, with liberal dabs of marriage woes, low sperm counts and cocaine. When PopEater caught up with the comedic actor, he talked about fist fights with his friend and 'Brother's Justice' co-star Dax Shepard, expands on his rebuffed attempt to help Charlie Sheen and opens up about his fourth wife, Ashley Groussman, and the havoc that his "almost non-existent" sperm count is wreaking on their attempts to have a child.

"Divorce is just brutally painful and I went through it and then I did it again and then I did it again," he said, one of those ex's being Roseanne. "The thing is, I know it sounds like a clich� but if I hadn't have gone through all that I wouldn't have met Ashley. But this is it."

You're in 'Brother's Justice' with Dax Shepard. He's your buddy right?
He was my best man. We met on 'Punk'd' many years ago and struck up a friendship and here we are. Dax wrote the script so that was the easy part and we've always wanted to work together. Did you two get sick of each other?
There's a scene where we go to Ashton Kutcher's house to fight him and Bradley Cooper and on the way to shoot that scene, me and Dax got into a fight on the highway. He had to pull over and we got into a fist fight on the way to do our fight scene. It's sort of a brother thing. We had just been to Afghanistan and we had the same kind of fight over there. I think it's when we feel tense. I'm not saying it's healthy.

You seem like the bigger guy. Did you beat the sh*t out of him?
That's what I'd like to believe but he's 6"3 and I'm 6"2. I weigh a lot more but he's pretty tough.

Will you be best man at his wedding?
We'll see. It's not like he was best man at my first wedding.

What number are we up to?
Number four.

So we hope this time it's going to work.
Exactly! I guarantee it will. I'm all in on this one.

Versus not being all in on the others?
Well I've learned a lot. I know Ashley is different from anyone I've ever met. It's like you have such high hopes when you meet someone. You fall in love with them, you say this is going to turn out wonderful, one of these days they're going to be so crazy about me, we will be a team. Instead of it's going to be amazing, we are a team. We've got each other's backs, now let's get married. I just had it reversed, when I think about it now I'm horrified. How could I have wasted so much money, and time and energy? Divorce is just brutally painful and I went through it and then I did it again and then I did it again. The thing is, I know it sounds like a clich� but if I hadn't have gone through all that I wouldn't have met Ashley. But this is it.

You want to have kids but you have a low sperm count right?
Yeah it's almost non-existent. I had some frozen 15 years ago that we brought out. We're in the process of this now. We've decided it's going to happen 100% we're going to have children no matter how it happens. I'm not going to let my low sperm count derail Ashley's dreams of being a mother and mine too. We will make it happen.

It's brave of you to talk about it. You can't be the only celebrity to have low sperm count.
Oh, I guarantee I'm not the only one. I think it's good to talk about what these women have to go through. They have to take all these hormone shots because the guy which should be the easiest thing in the world for him to do, he can't do that. It isn't usually the guy but it is sometimes and it is in my case so I really appreciate what Ashley has to go through.

You've always been very hyper. I can't imagine what you were like on cocaine.
Ironically it calmed me down. I was fat on cocaine. There was nothing good about it period. The only reason I did it is because I'm an addict. The first time I did it, it seemed fun and then it never was fun again and I still did it for four more years trying to get to that fun place.

I read that you're the go to guy for interventions.
There are a lot of people. The way to stay sober is to help other people who are struggling, that's what everybody does. Many years ago Charlie Sheen lived across the street from me. I could see he was struggling so I got a hold of his agent and I offered to help get him into rehab and the agent said to me, 'I can't be a part of that, he makes us too much money.' Some people don't love me for doing interventions, maybe in five years they appreciate it but you can't do it to get people to like you. You do it because it's the right thing.

You just shot a pilot.
It's called 'Other People's Kids' and Judith Light is my lover. It's fun. I'll find out in three weeks if it gets picked up. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't get picked up.

Thirty minutes later there is a message on my cell phone from Tom Arnold.
Nicki, sorry to bother you on your cell. Your mother gave me the number. I wanted to tell you we shot the pilot on the same spot where 23 years ago we shot the 'Roseanne' pilot which was creepy yet nice, but nice.

'Brother's Justice' comes to select theaters May 13.

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